Reach out to the bereaved
Regardless of how busy you may be in the lead up to Christmas, make sure you set aside some time to reach out to the grieving person. Sending a thoughtful text message or giving your loved one a call can help them feel less lonely and isolated. Don’t avoid talking about the death of their loved one – acknowledge their loss and ask them how they are feeling, and invite them to speak about their struggles if they feel comfortable doing so.
Listen to their struggles
It can be difficult for somebody who is grieving to express how they’re feeling at Christmas time due to the fear of being a burden or putting a dampener on the festivities. Whether you’re speaking in person or over the phone, invite them to open up and simply sit back and listen. Don’t be tempted to interrupt or make comparisons, as every loss is unique, and this could devalue the pain they are experiencing.
Send a thoughtful Christmas card
If you usually send your friend or family member a Christmas card, don’t avoid sending one this year just because they are grieving. Instead, steer clear of the cheesy Christmas cliches and choose a blank card so you can write your own message. Acknowledge that this might be a difficult time of year for your loved one, name the person who has died, and share a cherished memory of the deceased. You can read our blog on ‘what to write in a sympathy card’ for further inspiration.
Share a meaningful gift
Sending a thoughtful Christmas gift can help bring joy to the person who is grieving. It lets your loved one know that you are thinking about them, and plants the seed for happier times ahead. You could send a meaningful keepsake in memory of the departed (a framed photo or engraved ornament will be much appreciated), gift a self-care package, organise a day out for the two of you to enjoy, or donate to a charitable cause that is close to their heart.
Extend an invitation
Christmas can be an incredibly lonely time for those who are grieving. Some people prefer to be around others to take their mind off the loss, but others prefer to spend some time alone. Invite them to an event or gathering and let them know they’re always welcome, but make it clear that you understand if they’d rather be on their own. Even if they decline the invitation, they are bound to appreciate the gesture.
Offer practical support
As well as sending thoughtful gestures and allowing your loved one to talk about their feelings of grief, you should also aim to offer practical support. It could be something as simple as offering to help with the housework or go food shopping for them. If the bereaved person is participating in Christmas festivities, you could offer to help them wrap gifts or prepare some festive food.
Whichever chore you choose, make the offer specific and avoid vague, open-ended statements like “let me know if you need help with anything.” This will make them much more likely to take you up on the offer.
How to support someone through grief beyond Christmas
It’s all well and good supporting someone through grief at Christmas time, but it’s important to remember that loss extends well beyond the festive period. Remember to keep checking in with your loved one throughout the year – we guarantee that they will appreciate your offer of support, regardless of the season.
Alexander Burn is here for you 24/7, and our compassionate team is ready to provide support and guidance in this time of need. Our phone lines are open 24 hours a day, or you can pop into one of our branches in Cheltenham, Bishop’s Cleeve, Tewkesbury, or Winchcombe. We can even put you in touch with the relevant bereavement support groups to help you come to terms with your loss.
In the days, weeks, months and even years ahead, you always have a friend in Alexander Burn.
